Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
