i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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