Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
