How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
