4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
