the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
