this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
