and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
