Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
