Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
