how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
