I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
