ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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