I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
