did you get engaged???
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
