Your dad touched me again.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
