New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
