So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i dont even know how to be here
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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