when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
