I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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