I think I died a long time ago.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize