and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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