Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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