I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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