So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
