my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Too much gin, very little bucket
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
