i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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