We're like a lot better than the average bears
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
