We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
