she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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