people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize