I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just gargled with NyQuil
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
