found the other keg... it's in the tree
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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