turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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