if you like me you must not know who I am
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We have so much sex to catch up on
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
