I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
