Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
