I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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