What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
