Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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