i jhust puked up my retainher.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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