Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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