Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
