Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
