His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize
