My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We are two peas in an std pod
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
