walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
