Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
