Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
