Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
