Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Every concussion has its silver lining
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize