someone threw a dead crab at me
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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