His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
