I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize