First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
