Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
