i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
